Monthly Archives: June 2014

Sick of over-extending yourself? Learn how to say No; Part Three

Like any new skill, it takes time to develop the ability to say no. Keep in mind that any failed attempts are still worthwhile and contribute towards good experience and practise. Remember to be patient with yourself. It will be unfamiliar territory at first and may even be scary but if you are persistent it will become easier with time.

 

An excellent way to improve your confidence in this area is to note down the details of every time you successfully say no in your first month. When the month is finished look back on all of your successes. Reward yourself by going out for a meal or watching a film at the cinema. Every time you have a setback read through this list again. Looking over your success stories in this way will serve not only to boost your confidence, but also give you the resolve to keep going.

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Sick of over-extending yourself? Learn how to say No; Part Two

 

When we continually say yes to other peoples requests we are like a house that has left its door unlocked. It invites intruders in to our lives to lay even more demands on us. In learning to say no to the burglars of both our time and energy they may continue to try and intrude but they will soon realise a new alarm system has been installed and leave to find someone else who has left their house vulnerable.

 

Essentially, when we say yes to others we also say no to ourselves. Every yes requires time and energy which could otherwise be spent on our objectives, goals and dreams. The next time someone approaches you with a request, take a few moments to realistically assess if you have both the time and energy to fulfil what they are asking of you. In honestly answering these two fundamental questions, you will know when it is wise to say no. When you say no you may think you are being selfish however by saying no you are simply practising self-care and learning to value yourself and your time.

 

Of course saying the word no can seem to many of us as abrupt and harsh, but there are many ways to soften the blow if we feel uncomfortable.

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Sick of over-extending yourself? Learn how to say No; Part One

It is Saturday afternoon and you have just finished cleaning the house, preparing lunch for the family, have finished off your report due first thing Monday morning and are sewing on a button to your sons football shirt, after which you need to start studying for your business diploma. As you prick yourself on the needle your other half then pops their head through the door and asks you to go to the shops with a long list they have prepared. You don’t have nearly enough time but you smile and say ‘Sure.’ Does this sound familiar?

 

All too often we struggle to say no when we are completely stretched and cannot really afford to say yes. If we say no we may feel we are letting others down and might even feel we are less likable or less recognised in the workplace as a result. In contemporary culture we are taking on more roles, often having a full-time career as well as being the main care taker of the home and family. With so many roles to contend with we can easily fall into the superwoman, or superman trap, feeling that we should be able to manage everything at once. When being a parent, partner, full-time worker and student is normal, how do we learn to judge what is, and is not, reasonable to take on?

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