Monthly Archives: November 2014

Stop the bus and leave drama at the next stop! Part Three

When we deal with the drama triangle assertively we often reap countless benefits. We are able to not only refuse disrespectful treatment from others but are also able to remain respectful towards others. In being assertive we can successfully avoid both the victim and prosecutor roles, taking ourselves completely out of the triangle. Once out of the drama triangle we can then engage in more assertive communication, promoting adult exchanges which are both respectful and honest.

 

More

Stop the bus and leave drama at the next stop! Part Two

To avoid the vicious drama triangle we can use assertiveness, leaving the rescuer, victim and prosecutor roles behind us. If assertiveness is unfamiliar territory for you then fear not, the basic principles of assertive behaviour are very straight forward. When being assertive there are four key points to address:

 

  1. Acknowledge what has been said. E.g. use statements like ‘I understand’ and ‘I understand what you have said’. 
  2. State the facts about the situation using non-biased language. E.g. ‘It was a gift from everyone’. 
  3. State the impact the situation has had on you, avoiding divisive words like ‘really’, ‘very’ or ‘you’. E.g. I found your statement hurtful and offensive’. 
  4. State what future action you would like to be taken. E.g. ‘I would appreciate it if you could refrain from saying statements like that to me in future’. 

More

New ‘Best Websites’ Page Featuring The Webs Most Outstanding Psychology and Mental Health Sites

 

Hi All,

 

As you might have noticed there have been quite a few new additions here at Accessible Psychology and I’m particularly excited about my new ‘Best Websites’ page. If you or someone you know has been impacted by mental health it features charity websites like Mind and Rethink that are both highly informative and very supportive. Mind has an entire section on ‘helping someone else’ whilst Rethink offers invaluable practical advise on living with mental illness.

 

The Depression Alliance also provides an amazing support network for those suffering with depression, helping to ease the social isolation which can establish itself in the lives of those with the condition. Cruse Bereavement Care is also an exceptional website which offers superb advise for those dealing with loss and offers telephone, email and UK based face-to-face support.

 

Having relationship problems? Relates website offers support and counselling (UK based) to those wishing to improve their romantic relationships. For some people, they serve to transform their clients relationships and lives whilst for others Relate helps solve a specific problem and allow clients to move forward with more confidence and less anxiety.

 

The Samaritans have been providing free counselling for years through their amazing helpline and on my page there is a link to their website which provides the contact details of what, for many, can be a lifesaving service.

 

Problems nodding off at night? The National Sleep Foundation has a comprehensive site with information on sleep health, sleep problems and disorders, sleep tools and tips and even a search for a sleep professional service (US based).

 

Last but certainly and by no means last there is The Happiness Project – an entire site dedicated to making your life the happiest it can possibly be! I really cannot recommend this website highly enough. The blog on the homepage is well researched, humorous and insightful. The section dedicated to breaking bad habits and forming new positive ones is educational and inspired. The tips and quizzes section is fun and the quotes featured in this section are fantastic. Finally, if you are as inspired as I was to begin a happiness project of your very own, the downloads section is an absolute must with exactly the same tools Gretchen used now available for anyone to print up and fill out.

 

Look out for our section for young people too.

 

Please tell me how you found the sites and how they were helpful to you, I would absolutely love to hear from you.

 

Enjoy.

 

x X x Jenny Leigh x X x

New ‘Best Resources’ Page Featuring The Webs Most Exceptional Psychology Resources

 

H All,

 

Here at Accessible Psychology I like to make things, well, accessible, so I have taken it upon myself to source the most exceptional psychology resources from all over the web and share them with you in one place, right here on my ‘Best Resources’ page. These resources are highly recommended by all top therapists. How do I know you say? Well, a therapist from none other than The Priory recommended them as the very best!

 

I like to think I have catered for everything so if you would like to become more assertive try the ‘Assert Yourself’ CBT InfoPax by CCI. Feel like you would like to have higher self-esteem? Try ‘Improving Self-Esteem’, also by CCI. Want more happiness? There’s a guidebook from Action for Happiness called ‘Ten Keys To Happier Living’ you can download right here at Accessible Psychology!

 

Should you have a therapist don’t worry there is something on my page for you too. I’ve featured a comprehensive selection of worksheets by Psychology Tools covering all sorts of thought records and diaries – there are even worksheets on anger, forgiveness and sleep. You can save, print and fill out all of the worksheets provided and then share them with your therapist. I’ve also included a fantastic online service by MindQuire where you can record and graph your depression, stress and anxiety levels and share the findings with your therapist.

 

For those of you wishing to integrate more mindfulness into your life, try Headspace – an online site and app with a massive encyclopaedia of meditation courses, all designed to help make meditation accessible, relevant and beneficial to the masses.

 

Please let me know which resources you like best and how they have helped you, I’d absolutely love to hear from you.

 

Enjoy everyone!

 

x X x Jenny Leigh x X x

Stop the bus and leave drama at the next stop! Part One

Recently I found myself in the middle of drama with one of my good friends. The experience was all consuming, one minute I was crying and the next I was angry. During this gut-wrenching conflict I couldn’t eat, I frequently cried myself to sleep and everything in my life seemed to stop. I even stopped training for my 5k run for charity (thankfully I managed to complete the race, albeit with a lot of huffing and puffing). This went on for around a month. What surprised me most was how the situation gained momentum and spiralled out of control so quickly. With no exaggeration, the impact of this conflict was devastating. As I had learned, when we are in conflict with those around us the toll on our lives can be profound. Loss of appetite, acute stress, sleep disturbance and depression can all result from intense conflict. If I was ever to escape this drama and all the stress it had caused me, I knew I had to get off the bus at the next stop.

More