When we deal with the drama triangle assertively we often reap countless benefits. We are able to not only refuse disrespectful treatment from others but are also able to remain respectful towards others. In being assertive we can successfully avoid both the victim and prosecutor roles, taking ourselves completely out of the triangle. Once out of the drama triangle we can then engage in more assertive communication, promoting adult exchanges which are both respectful and honest.

 

 

Thankfully my drama is behind me now and even though I hope to never be drawn into the drama triangle again, I am confident that if I do I will be able to recognise it immediately. Thanks to my psychologist I now know how to respond in the beginning before things have had the chance to escalate. If you are going through drama and long to talk about the issue in a respectful, adult way, assertiveness can help. In truth we cannot control how others respond, but in being assertive we increase the likelihood of effective communication which can lead to reconciliation. It is within our power to leave the drama triangle behind us, to treat others with respect and to request that we are treated with that same level of respect in return.

 

After all, it is one of our most intrinsic rights to be able to express our feelings, to be listened to and taken seriously and to be treated in a respectful and considerate way. So use assertiveness to your advantage and press the bell to get off the drama triangle at the next stop. Once you exit, you will soon discover it is perfect weather for a leisurely walk.

 

Do you have a situation where you are in the drama triangle and need to assert yourself? Did you role play before asserting yourself to the person in question? How did it go? Did any unexpected reactions come up and if so how did you handle them? Please comment and share your experiences with our community to gain insight, encouragement and support.

 

Exercises:

 

  1. Assert yourself to the person in question, incorporating a calm steady tone of voice, positive body language and, where necessary, use negative assertion, negative enquiry and the broken record technique.