The healing process…
Invariably the healing process is not linear, it isn’t a straight line on a graph. There will be peaks and troughs. During times when you are revisited by difficult feelings, return to the strategies you adopted when first trying to forgive.
Many people mistakenly think they cannot forgive, simply because they encounter difficulty after they have initially forgiven someone. In order to avoid this pitfall be mindful that the forgiveness and healing process can be lengthy. It is nonsensical to think there won’t be difficulties along the way. So if you experience difficulties after deciding to forgive someone, be comforted by the fact that this is to be expected and persevere.
I believe forgiveness to be a life long journey. By virtue of human nature there will be times when people disappoint, anger or hurt us. Although I have forgiven many things, I have never reached a point when it felt effortless – I had to continually commit to forgiveness. In spite of this however, I wouldn’t have it any other way. I simply could not bear the alternative of a life polluted by resentment and bitterness. To forgive is both courageous and strong.
By not forgiving, and remaining stuck in hatred, anger and resentment, you ultimately give your perpetrator the final victory. Be brave, choosing to forgive instead, and ensure you are the victorious one. The winners prize you ask? Complete liberation and freedom, and a future full of possibility.
How do you plan to forgive past hurts and overcome the three blocks to forgiveness? Do you need to forgive anyone for anything? How have you managed to forgive people in the past? Do you have any experiences of forgiving someone without them having knowledge of it? Do you agree that forgiveness is primarily for us rather than the other person? Please share your thoughts in the comments below, I’d love to hear from you.
‘Forgiveness: How to make peace with your past and get on with your life’ by Sidney B Simon and Suzanne Somin