Picture courtesy of Shutterstock

Picture courtesy of Shutterstock

 

How to overcome the 3 blocks to forgiveness and forgive…

 

3) Humiliation and shame

 

When we experience humiliation our first instinct is to run and hide. When we experience shame our first instinct is to lash out. Usually humiliation is followed by shame. The reason why these two feelings are particularly detrimental to forgiveness is that they impact upon our perception of self, which is linked to our self-worth. When our self-worth is threatened, our fight or flight response is triggered, and we either explode or implode, which are both obstacles to forgiveness.

 

When you are in a state of shame or humiliation try to alter your perspective and consider whether this situation will be significant ten or twenty years from now. If you believe it would remain significant, consider what you would think if this happened to a friend. Would you judge or think any less of her? I imagine probably not.

 

By shifting your perspective you will be able to step outside of your humiliation and shame and see your situation in a larger context.

 

If, due to your humiliation and shame, your inner critic is being activated and you are struggling to forgive yourself, please read ‘How to silence your inner critic and become your own best friend through self compassion’.

 

Stay tuned, next Monday we’ll look into the healing process and how you can be the ultimate victor.

 

Have you ever lashed out at someone when your in a state of humiliation and shame? How did humiliation and shame prevent you from forgiving? Do you have your own tips on how to overcome humiliation and shame? Please share your thoughts in the comments below, I’d love to hear from you.

 

Further Resources:

 

‘Forgiveness: How to make peace with your past and get on with your life’ by Sidney B Simon and Suzanne Somin