Monthly Archives: August 2015

Septembers Hot Topic Is… How to Lead a More Fulfilling Life by Being Creative!

This coming months hot topic is very close to my heart. After spending most of my life without a creative outlet I rediscovered my creativity aged twenty nine. Since being creative I have found a new level of self expression, a level I believe I could not have reached, had I not rediscovered the importance of creativity.

 

Since being creative I have been more fulfilled and cannot wait to share with you how you too can rediscover your creative flare. I will share the six fundamental steps I took in the series articles (posted each Monday) which will also feature exercises you can do to help you practically implement these steps into your life.

 

On Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays there will also be more linear posts featuring topics like ‘What is creativity?’ and ‘Ten quick tricks to inspire creativity’ to compliment the series posts.

 

Join me on a journey of self-expression that will leave you in a state of joy and abandon this September!

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How to Stop Worrying What People Think And Start Being Authentic in 6 Easy Steps Part Four

Photo courtesy of Shutterstock

Photo courtesy of Shutterstock

 

4)  Be diplomatically honest

 

Become mindful of when you tell white lies and start practising being diplomatically honest. Being totally honest honours our authenticity by showing our genuine nature and consequently allows us to retain a high level of integrity. For guidance on how to be diplomatically honest, see part two of this series under ‘Blocks to Authenticity’ – Kind vs. Honest.

 

This also means not editing or tailoring what you say to suit the type of persona you want to portray to certain groups of friends and choosing to rather be your same self to everyone you know!

 

5)  Express your true thoughts, opinions, beliefs and feelings

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An Authentic Life: High self-esteem – the trademark of an authentic person and how to harness it

When we think of an authentic person we naturally think of someone who knows what they want out of life, someone who knows who they are and is confident in themselves. It then follows that such a person would have a relatively high level of self-esteem. Oxford dictionaries online defines self-esteem as:

 

 “Confidence in one’s own worth or abilities; self-respect”

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An Authentic Life: Protecting your goals and priorities by using assertiveness

It is one of the most natural things in the world to want to avoid conflict. Often people think that when they express a difference of opinion or decline an invitation that conflict or upset will ensue and whilst that can sometimes be the case, most of the time it is an unfounded concern. The key is asserting yourself in such a way that you are considerate of others feelings whilst communicating what you need to.

 

As a rule, being assertive has four key steps, being:

 

  1. Acknowledge what the other person has said
  2. State the facts of the situation in unbiased language
  3. State the impact the situation has had on you
  4. Ask for what you want in future

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An Authentic Life: Setting Your OWN Priorities

If we want to lead truly authentic lives it then follows that we first need to be honest with ourselves. Honest about what we want for our lives (our goals) and honest about what is most important to us (our priorities).

 

When we are honest about what our priorities are we can then organize our time in such a way that it reflects what is most important to us. For example, I have declined a social engagement in favor of working on my writing, as that is what is most important to me. It’s worth mentioning that although I do prioritize writing, I also take time out to see friends, so that I have fun and avoid burn out.

 

If you find you have a tendency to people please and find it hard saying no (which you will need to do at times if you want a life that reflects your priorities instead of others) please read ‘Sick of over-extending yourself? Learn how to say no’.

 

Think of it a little like a three step process, being:

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How to Stop Worrying What People Think And Start Being Authentic in 6 Easy Steps Part Three

Photo courtesy of Shutterstock

Photo courtesy of Shutterstock

 

Benefits of Living an Authentic Life:

 

Authenticity offers many benefits. There is a feeling of fulfilment that comes from being genuine and being accepted for who you truly are. When you are authentic your self-awareness increases and you develop a strong identity. You have a high level of integrity due to your honesty and your self-esteem increases as a result. Decisions are easier to make because you know what your core values are and what fits in line with them. You take your own needs seriously and consequently do what really matters to you, living in tune with your goals and dreams. All of these advantages translate into a happier more contented life, a life with an abundance of meaning and passion.

 

6 Steps to Living an Authentic Life:

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An Authentic Life: Identifying Your OWN Goals and Dreams

Have you ever studied something because you were told it was a sensible option? Have you ever pursued a career because the profession was in your family, or even taken up a hobby because everyone else was? You’re not alone. So many of us make decisions based upon others – this doesn’t have to be a bad thing as advice can be useful – but when your decision is solely based upon what others think you should do, you can end up living the life others want for you, as opposed to living the life you truly desire (a mark of any truly authentic life).

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An Authentic Life: Diplomatic Honesty

In this series I often speak of being diplomatically honest. What I mean by this is being honest but remembering to word what I say in such a way that it doesn’t cause anyone to be hurt or offended.

 

Here are some examples of diplomatic honesty in action:

 

Q:           Do I look fat in this?

A:            I think you have outfits that better show off your shape

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An Authentic Life: Integrity

Oxford Dictionary online defines integrity as:

 

“The quality of being honest and having strong moral principals”

 

Part of leading an authentic life is not only being honest and presenting yourself as you truly are no matter who you are with but also having well defined moral principals that you live by. Keeping to your word, for example.

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How to Stop Worrying What People Think And Start Being Authentic in 6 Easy Steps Part Two

Photo courtesy of Shutterstock

Photo courtesy of Shutterstock

 

Blocks to Authenticity:

 

There are several blocks to living an authentic life. The top three are worrying about what others think of us, an inability to say no due to the desire to people-please and the common concern that honesty is sometimes hurtful and unkind. But let’s break them down further and see how we can overcome these obstacles to authenticity.

 

1)  Worrying about what people think of you (and how to stop it)

 

Being worried about what other people will think of us and whether we will face rejection as a result of honestly expressing ourselves, is a very natural concern. Although this is a possibility, it is worth remembering that when we honestly and diplomatically express a difference of opinion, it can actually lead others to respect us more as a result of the integrity we have displayed. Furthermore, I would argue that those who reject us because we have a different opinion to them are quite controlling and narcissistic by nature, whereby their approval is conditional upon us conforming to their worldview – certainly not the type of friend I would want to seek out! Once you come to this realisation you too are likely to be much less worried about what people may or may not think about you when you express yourself honestly.

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