It is one of the most natural things in the world to want to avoid conflict. Often people think that when they express a difference of opinion or decline an invitation that conflict or upset will ensue and whilst that can sometimes be the case, most of the time it is an unfounded concern. The key is asserting yourself in such a way that you are considerate of others feelings whilst communicating what you need to.
As a rule, being assertive has four key steps, being:
- Acknowledge what the other person has said
- State the facts of the situation in unbiased language
- State the impact the situation has had on you
- Ask for what you want in future
If you would like to take a closer look at assertiveness with the aim of becoming more assertive and protecting your goals and priorities, please read ‘Assertiveness: A journey worth taking’.
Everyone is different, so if you find that you are usually quite assertive but when it comes to others requests you can’t quite say no, please read ‘Sick of over-extending yourself? Learn how to say no’, which is an article on assertiveness that focuses solely on declining others requests when your resources, time, energy or simply desire is lacking.