The one thing I’ve found is that in many ways confidence increases with age. I’m not referring to the youthful type of confidence which verges on arrogance and is rife with insecurity; I’m speaking of the type of confidence that is calmly self-assured, the type that whispers rather than shouts.
The type which tells you that you are exactly who you were always meant to be and makes you comfortable in your own skin, making no excuses or apologies for who you are and realizing that if anyone objects it is of no consequence to you, it being more of a reflection upon them than you. This is internal confidence at its best.
For those in their twenties who do not share this type of internal confidence this may be reassuring however you needn’t just sit and wait for internal confidence to naturally develop as there are definite steps you can take to speed up this process.
Try this quick little exercise and you may well be on your way!
- List a time five or more years ago when you were impacted by how others saw you and how it made you feel.
Do you care about what those same people think of you now? Do you realize that your worth was in no way changed by what they thought? Are you secure in the knowledge that at your core you are a good and worthwhile person?
If you are unsure of your worth or still feel it is impacted by what others think of you please do take the time to read ‘Learning to Love Yourself: 3 Steps to Instantly Boost Your Self-Esteem’ which gives three simple steps for anyone to achieve a healthy level of self-esteem.
- Now think of a time when someone thought badly of you and your opinion of yourself was not impacted. How did it make you feel?
This is what we are aspiring to achieve on a frequent basis and the more you do this exercise the more clear it will become that there really are no advantages to having others opinions of you color how you see yourself.
This invariably refers more to those who have unwarranted negative opinions of us however what do we do when we have done something which was hurtful to others? Should we then take on board peoples bad opinions of us? Of course I am not suggesting that you don’t take time to reflect how your actions have impacted others – that is healthy and often needed as we can be blind to how our actions impact others sometimes.
What I am suggesting though is that when you have negatively impacted someone and they consequently have a negative opinion of you, do not adopt that same opinion of yourself. Just because you may have done something bad doesn’t mean you are bad. Rather think about how you can make things right and if you can’t, know you have tried to do the right thing and let your self-worth remain healthy.