Letting Go In Action

Letting Go In Action: Month Long News and Politics Ban

As well as introducing positive behaviors, there will invariably be existing negative behaviors which will exasperate negativity. Commit to avoiding the news and seeing, watching or talking about anything political for the next thirty days, you will be astonished at the impact this will have.

 

Instead, use the time you would have spent watching or reading the news watching inspiring TED Talks (see my Top TED Talks page) or reading personal development sites such as Accessible Psychology, Positively Positive or Tiny Buddha.

 

See the uplifting impact these sites have and notice if gradually your mood is lifting, even better, if you are perhaps beginning to see the future with a renewed sense of hope.

 

What impact do you think this exercise would have upon your life? Will you be taking a month long ban from news and politics? Will you be watching more positive media over the next month? Please share your thoughts in the comments below to gain encouragement, insight and support from our community, we’d love to hear from you.

Letting Go In Action: Look to the future with hope and optimism

When we have already let go and are in the process of moving on we benefit from looking to the future with hope and optimism. This is very hard in practice but it is possible. Please only follow today’s exercise if you feel you are well on your way to letting go and moving on as increasing our hope, optimism and overall positivity is only advisable when you have properly mourned your loss, otherwise it can extend the grieving process.

 

Please read my article titled ‘How to Avoid A Negative Downward Spiral by Using the Power of Positivity’ and resolve to do three of the behaviors from the article to cultivate a more optimistic view of the future.

 

Do you feel emotionally ready to do today’s exercise? If so, which three behaviors did you choose to adopt? Please share your thoughts in the comments below to gain encouragement, insight and support from our community, we’d love to hear from you.

Letting Go In Action: Create two meaningful S.M.A.R.T. goals

Please read my article on goals titled ‘How to Turn Your Dreams into Reality’ and create two meaningful S.M.A.R.T. goals. The goals may be as simple as ‘create scrapbook’, ‘volunteer for a charity for one month and record it in a journal’ or ‘read book on loss and follow exercises’ depending on the severity of your loss.

 

If you are feeling like you are recovering from your loss and ready to begin channeling your energies into something new you could be more ambitious like ‘create a bucket list and do one thing from the list each month’ or even ‘start a blog’ or ‘take up photography and create a portfolio of landscape photos’.

 

Whatever stage in your recovery you are, create a goal which is meaningful and healing to you. Some may be therapeutic, like creating a scrapbook and some may be aspirational, like taking up photography.

 

What S.M.A.R.T. goals did you come up with? If you already have goals did you make them S.M.A.R.T.? How healing and restorative do you think your goals are? Do you find focusing your energy in this way helpful in dealing with your loss? Please share your thoughts in the comments below to gain encouragement, insight and support from our community, we’d love to hear from you.

Letting Go In Action: Try out your top three hobbies in the next three months

Try out your top three creative hobbies that you selected yesterday and spend one month on each hobby.

 

If you try one you don’t like, just choose one of the remaining two hobbies you selected instead.

 

Are you hopeful that the creative hobbies you selected will be cathartic? What hobbies did you select? Did you think of any of your own to try that weren’t featured on the list? Please share your thoughts in the comments below to gain encouragement, insight and support from our community, we’d love to hear from you.

Letting Go In Action: Select three hobbies to try out

If you haven’t already read ‘How to Design A More Fulfilled Life By Being Creative in 6 Simple Steps’ and select the five hobbies you would like to try out most.

 

Having a creative hobby will promote self-expression and be cathartic, invaluable when dealing with loss.

 

Do you have any creative pursuits? Have you ever tried out hobbies in the past? Are there any creative hobbies in the article not listed that you think should be? Please share your thoughts in the comments below to gain encouragement, insight and support from our community, we’d love to hear from you.

Letting Go In Action: Read my article on creativity and think about which hobbies appeal to you

Take ten minutes to read my article on creativity and hobbies, titled ‘How to Design A More Fulfilled Life By Being Creative in 6 Simple Steps’, think about which hobbies appeal to you most for tomorrows exercise.

 

Having a creative hobby will promote self-expression and provide you with much needed fulfillment, a very therapeutic exercise for those suffering from loss.

 

Can you see the value in having creative hobbies? What was your main takeaway from the article? Please share your thoughts in the comments below to gain encouragement, insight and support from our community, we’d love to hear from you.

Letting Go In Action: Create a list of your favorite things to do and invite a friend out

Before your loss what did you most enjoy doing with others when out? For example, going to a restaurant or café for coffee. Create a list no shorter than five items long.

 

Invite one of your best friends out to do one of the fun activities on your list and have a twenty minute time limit on talking about your struggle in letting go and moving on. The time limit will help you to share what you need to whilst also enabling you to focus on happier experiences. If you have lost someone close to you the time limit need not apply, but try to think of the happy memories you shared with them rather than anything else.

 

What activities did you come up with? Have you thought of someone to invite out or even better have you already invited them out? Please share your thoughts in the comments below to gain encouragement, insight and support from our community, we’d love to hear from you.

Letting Go In Action: List behaviors that accentuate your pain + top tips on how to avoid them

List all the behaviors that make you depressed or low and rate out of ten how sad they make you, with 10 being depressed and 1 being having no effect. Anything you rate at a 7 or above brainstorm how you can minimize engaging in these behaviors.

 

For example:

 

  • Facebook or social media stalking – 8 – Deactivate your account for a month or two
  • Looking at photos of them (unless they have passed away) – 7 – Place them away in a box
  • Looking at videos of them – 10 – Every time you are tempted watch uplifting TED Talks instead
  • Going to places which reminds you of them – 9 – Plan to go to places you’ve always wanted to go but haven’t yet instead
  • Listening to music which reminds you of them – 9 – Delete from your devices and place the CD’s out of sight (or, even better, throw them away)
  • Watching movies which reminds you of them – 9 – Throw them away
  • Ruminating (thinking in circles with little problem solving) – 10 – Practice mindfulness exercises for ten minutes every time you catch yourself ruminating (if you can’t do this focus on your breathing for five minutes or place a time limit on how long you will ruminate – twenty minutes daily maximum)

 

Have you brainstormed how you might avoid depression inducing behaviors? Do you have any ideas that you could share which will help others? Please share your thoughts in the comments below to gain encouragement, insight and support from our community, we’d love to hear from you.

Letting Go In Action: Writing a goodbye letter

One of the most therapeutic ways to let go and move on is to write a goodbye letter.

 

Really contemplate what you are mourning and write it down. Write the feeling that being with whatever you are mourning gave you. Write down any regrets and say sorry if you need to. Ask for forgiveness if you feel you need it and extend forgiveness if appropriate. Write why you are sad and the depth of your loss.  Explain how you wish things were different. Say goodbye, possibly wishing them well.

 

I wrote several letters when I was trying to let go. It helped me process my emotions and clarify what I was struggling to let go of.

 

If you are mourning a broken relationship you can choose to send your letter or not based on whether you want them to read your words. If you have lost someone close to you you can place it on their resting place if this would give you a greater sense of peace. I sent mine because it was important for me that I asked for forgiveness directly but they were never replied to. This is always a possibility if you are sending them to someone.

 

Though it was painful not to receive a reply, I continued to send letters. This was part of my healing process. It helped me with the first step to recovery – accepting the situation you are in and seeing it for what it is. Once I accepted there would never be a reply, my letters became more for my benefit, a way of gaining the closure I could.

 

Whilst I sent letters this was by no means the only step I took to let go and move on. I spoke to close friends and family, forced myself to socialize, filled my life with hobbies, goals and cultivated a more positive outlook by watching TED Talks, joining positivity Facebook pages, reading personal development and psychology books and going to seminars.

 

Have you ever considered writing a goodbye letter? Do you know what you would say and do you think it would help you? Please share your thoughts in the comments below to gain encouragement, insight and support from our community, we’d love to hear from you.

Letting Go In Action: Write about your ideal life

What would your ideal life look like if you had already let go and moved on? This might be incredibly hard to imagine but do your best to try, all possibilities are open to you!

 

To help with this process ask yourself the following questions:

 

  • Where would you live? Would you move home?
  • Which relationships would you nurture?
  • Where would you work and what would you do?
  • Would you explore faith as a source of comfort and support?
  • What would you do in your spare time?

 

Did today’s exercise help you to imagine a life beyond your current pain? What would your ideal life look like? Please share your thoughts in the comments below to gain encouragement, insight and support from our community, we’d love to hear from you.

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