Why knowing your deal breakers in advance is key

One of the most useful things eHarmony did for me was get me to think about what my deal breakers in relationships would be in advance. When you start to chat with a match you first ask three fun questions, then you send your makes or breaks and then three open ended ‘dig deeper’ questions before you email. Of course you can skip these steps but I loved them as it really showed me my compatibility with someone before chatting with them. In the makes or breaks section you select ten makes (or must haves) and ten breaks (or can’t stands).


These must haves and can’t stands are important to realize before you get involved with someone and can save much heartache down the line. For example, if you want to have children it’s important to know whether your new date shares that desire. Equally, if you can’t stand someone who never says sorry and has to be right all the time it might be worth asking ‘can you name a time when you were wrong and had to apologize’ to see if they have this quality.


The Many Roads To Happiness…


“People take different roads seeking fulfilment and happiness. Just because they’re not on your road doesn’t mean they’ve gotten lost.” H Jackson Browne


Whilst there are certain universal principles which lead to greater happiness, like living in line with ones values for example, the path to happiness is just as unique and varied as each of us. Although our humanity unites us all, we each have idiosyncrasies and distinctly individual likes and dislikes. What brings me laughter and joy, another may not even find funny, and so it is with happiness. Even the basic principles of happiness, like living by ones values, are different for everyone. What struck me most about readers’ comments was the diversity of them, however, this should not really have been surprising when considering the wide spectrum of human nature.