being authentic

HIGHLIGHTS: How to Stop Worrying What People Think And Start Being Authentic in 6 Easy Steps Part Two

Photo courtesy of Shutterstock

Photo courtesy of Shutterstock


Blocks to Authenticity:


There are several blocks to living an authentic life. The top three are worrying about what others think of us, an inability to say no due to the desire to people-please and the common concern that honesty is sometimes hurtful and unkind. But let’s break them down further and see how we can overcome these obstacles to authenticity.


1)  Worrying about what people think of you (and how to stop it)


Being worried about what other people will think of us and whether we will face rejection as a result of honestly expressing ourselves, is a very natural concern. Although this is a possibility, it is worth remembering that when we honestly and diplomatically express a difference of opinion, it can actually lead others to respect us more as a result of the integrity we have displayed. Furthermore, I would argue that those who reject us because we have a different opinion to them are quite controlling and narcissistic by nature, whereby their approval is conditional upon us conforming to their worldview – certainly not the type of friend I would want to seek out! Once you come to this realisation you too are likely to be much less worried about what people may or may not think about you when you express yourself honestly.


An Authentic Life: Protecting your goals and priorities by using assertiveness

It is one of the most natural things in the world to want to avoid conflict. Often people think that when they express a difference of opinion or decline an invitation that conflict or upset will ensue and whilst that can sometimes be the case, most of the time it is an unfounded concern. The key is asserting yourself in such a way that you are considerate of others feelings whilst communicating what you need to.


As a rule, being assertive has four key steps, being:


  1. Acknowledge what the other person has said
  2. State the facts of the situation in unbiased language
  3. State the impact the situation has had on you
  4. Ask for what you want in future