By jennyleigh in Romantic Relationships In Action No Comments Tags: assertiveness, boundaries, discover your personal rights, exercises, healthy boundaries, healthy relationships, In action, romance in action, romantic relationships 8in action
Read ‘How to free yourself and assert your rights’. List if any of the rights covered in the article either you have violated to your partner or they have violated to you. It’s important to be honest so that you can then think of ways, invariably by using assertiveness, to avoid violating your partners rights whilst also protecting your own.
By jennyleigh in Narcissism No Comments Tags: assertiveness, boundaries, family, family bonds, friends, goals, how to recover from toxic relationships, narcissism, narcissist, passions, positivity, purpose
The devastation a narcissist can leave in their wake can be awful. As someone who has rebuilt their life after a toxic relationship with a narcissist I can say that life can be happy, meaningful and beautiful again, however unlikely that may seem when you first make the split.
Below are my top tips in order of priority for recovering from a toxic relationship with a narcissist, please do let me know if you have any tips of your own to add.
- Narcissists can work to isolate you from friends and family to gain more control over you. Take time to nurture relationships with friends and family to strengthen your support network and explain to them why you maybe haven’t seen them much during your last relationship.
- Most narcissists lack boundaries and often they may expect to dictate how you spend your free time (which they usually say has to be with them). One of the first steps towards healing should therefore be to learn assertiveness so as to protect you from similar hurt in future. Please read ‘How to free yourself and assert your rights’ which looks at how to protect your own personal rights that you were born with. Please also read ‘Assertiveness: A Journey Worth Taking’ to discover how to create healthy boundaries in your future relationships.
Like anyone, I’ve had my angry moments. One of the things I learnt in treatment was that often our anger comes from when our rights have been violated. For example, I have the right to my own opinions and beliefs. Has anyone ever imposed their opinion on you, said you were wrong or foolish and made you angry? That’s because they violated your rights!
Being angry is often a strong indication that our rights are being violated and knowing our rights is critical if we are to protect ourselves against others abusing them whilst creating healthy boundaries for our lives.
Below is a list of rights we all have that can be protected if we assert ourselves in a non aggressive manner:
1) I have the right to state my own needs and set my own priorities as a person, independent from any roles that I may assume in my life.
2) I have the right to be treated with respect as an intelligent, capable and equal human being.
3) I have the right to express my feelings.
4) I have the right to express my opinions and values.
5) I have the right to say ‘no’ and ‘yes’ for myself.
6) I have the right to make mistakes and forgive myself.
7) I have the right to change my mind.
8) I have the right to say ‘I don’t understand’ and ask for more information.
9) I have the right to ask for what I want.
10) I have the right to decline responsibility for other peoples problems.
11) I have the right to deal with others without being dependent on them for approval.
If you would like to know about your rights and why they are important in depth please read my article titled ‘How to Free Yourself and Assert Your Rights’ and if you’d like to know more about creating healthy boundaries please read ‘Assertiveness: A Journey Worth Taking’.
So the next time you are angry ask yourself – is someone abusing your rights and crossing a personal boundary?
Did you know your rights? Can you recall a time when you got angry as a result of someone abusing your rights? In future do you plan to assert your rights and create healthy boundaries in a non aggressive way? I’d love to hear from you so please comment below to gain support, encouragement and insight from our community.