confidence in action
Make a comprehensive list of all your strengths and weaknesses as outlined in the ‘accept your weaknesses and strengths’ section of Monday’s series post. Once written down spend a few minutes on each item on the list of both your strengths and weaknesses, taking time to accept them as such without having them define you in terms of self-worth.
Create your very own ‘lifetime achievement award’ as outlined in the ‘recognize your achievements’ section of Monday’s series post, remembering to include both personal and professional achievements as well as interpersonal achievements (such as assertiveness, stress management and empathy skills).
Today’s task is to take a look at last week’s exercise where you listed a situation you lack confidence in. Think of one example of how you can learn / train if needed and build up your experience in the relevant areas in order to foster more internal confidence with which to approach your situation in future.
When thinking of this, the following questions may be helpful:
- Can someone more experienced be your advisor or mentor?
- Are there professional courses you could take?
- Are there vocational courses you could take like assertiveness, hobby classes or skills based classes?
- Can you read about the situation or skills needed to better handle the situation, thereby learning?
- Can you create less scary situations whereby you can practice your new skills?
Today’s task is to take a look at last week’s exercise where you listed a situation you lack confidence in. Read ‘Assertiveness; A Journey Worth Taking’ and give one example of how you can be more assertive in similar situations in future. Then plan a group meeting and practice assertiveness techniques to foster more internal confidence, which will inevitably help you with your situation in future.
Today’s task is to take a look at last week’s exercise where you listed a situation you lack confidence in. Take a second to think of how you can stop comparing in order to foster more internal confidence with which to approach your situation in future.
Some tips and tricks to stop comparing are realizing that:
- There is never a fair comparison
- For a true comparisons you need to measure and this is almost always impossible when comparing people
- Comparisons rob you of joy
- Comparisons lead to either envy, insecurity or pride – not pleasant emotions by any means
Now for the real challenge – a comparison ban! For this week I challenge you to stop all comparisons yourself and others. I would also encourage you to stop comparing people completely and see the impact it has upon your wellbeing.
Mentors are wonderful things to have. When choosing a confidence mentor look for someone who exudes confidence and who ideally, is either extroverted or introverted like you. If this isn’t possible don’t worry but if you are introverted and your mentor extroverted it is worth bearing this in mind as confidence for you may look slightly different.
If they are a close friend you could ask them to be your mentor and explain that confidence is something you are actively working upon. Ask them how often they feel confident and how often they feel insecure – you might be surprised! Ask them how they act when they are insecure and if they have any tips for fostering greater external confidence. Then spend as much time with them as you can in group settings.
Take five minutes today to list a situation you typically lack confidence in. Give one example of how you can…
- Be sincere and…
- Alter your body language (HINT: Open body language gestures)
…in order to foster more external confidence. Then practice doing these things for ten minutes, imagining how it will help you and visualizing its positive impact when the situation emerges in future.
Remember a time when, on reflection, you think you were arrogant. Did you have an inflated sense of your abilities, your social or economic position or even your position within your company? What was the difference in behavior when compared to a time you simply felt confident?
Did you exhibit any of the traits listed in Mondays post? What warning signs were there that you can look out for in future that you are veering away from confidence into arrogance? Write these reflections and discoveries down and keep them handy – just the act of reflecting on your behavior in this way will help you to have an increased awareness of arrogance and help you avoid it in future.