One of the most useful things eHarmony did for me was get me to think about what my deal breakers in relationships would be in advance. When you start to chat with a match you first ask three fun questions, then you send your makes or breaks and then three open ended ‘dig deeper’ questions before you email. Of course you can skip these steps but I loved them as it really showed me my compatibility with someone before chatting with them. In the makes or breaks section you select ten makes (or must haves) and ten breaks (or can’t stands).


These must haves and can’t stands are important to realize before you get involved with someone and can save much heartache down the line. For example, if you want to have children it’s important to know whether your new date shares that desire. Equally, if you can’t stand someone who never says sorry and has to be right all the time it might be worth asking ‘can you name a time when you were wrong and had to apologize’ to see if they have this quality.