family bonds

How to recover from a toxic relationship with a narcissist

 

The devastation a narcissist can leave in their wake can be awful. As someone who has rebuilt their life after a toxic relationship with a narcissist I can say that life can be happy, meaningful and beautiful again, however unlikely that may seem when you first make the split.

 

Below are my top tips in order of priority for recovering from a toxic relationship with a narcissist, please do let me know if you have any tips of your own to add.

 

  1. Narcissists can work to isolate you from friends and family to gain more control over you. Take time to nurture relationships with friends and family to strengthen your support network and explain to them why you maybe haven’t seen them much during your last relationship.

 

  1. Most narcissists lack boundaries and often they may expect to dictate how you spend your free time (which they usually say has to be with them). One of the first steps towards healing should therefore be to learn assertiveness so as to protect you from similar hurt in future. Please read ‘How to free yourself and assert your rights’ which looks at how to protect your own personal rights that you were born with. Please also read ‘Assertiveness: A Journey Worth Taking’ to discover how to create healthy boundaries in your future relationships.

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Why we protect our family unnecessarily, preventing real intimacy (and how to stop it)

 

I remember being bullied as a child and telling my parents for the first time. I was only five years old but I could plainly see how sad they were and how much it hurt them to know I was in pain. I told them several times after that but I soon learnt to protect them from my pain in an effort to spare them of theirs. When I had my breakdown as a result of chronic untreated depression I knew that I had to be honest with them about what I was going through and I’m so glad I was. For the first time in years they knew what I was going through and were in a position to empathise, help, comfort and support me. As a result of being honest with them our bond became stronger, deeper and our connection was more authentic.

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