healthy relationship model

Why spending time apart can be a good thing

Far from being a sign of a weak relationship, spending a healthy amount of time apart can actually be a really good thing. As the healthy relationship model in the series posts highlighted, the healthiest relationships are actually those where each partner has half of their life inside the relationship (or rather spent together) and half outside of the relationship (or spent apart).

 

Spending time outside of the relationship can be invaluable, it teaches us not to take our partner for granted, to value quality time, it allows us to share experiences outside of the relationship in conversations with one another and it allows us to retain our individuality and independence whilst not undermining each partners healthy level of dependence on one another.

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Romance central; How to cultivate healthy intimate relationships and get the most out of your love life Part Four

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Last week we finished looking at the unhealthy relationship behaviors, this week we begin exploring how to cultivate healthy relationships.

 

How to cultivate healthy relationships

 

Cultivating a healthy relationship is not complex but it does take effort and ideally commitment from both partners to want to actively work on the relationship. This isn’t to say that by adopting these behaviors yourself you can’t improve things, but rather that for the best results both partners should be willing to work together – with shared responsibility – for making the relationship the healthiest it can be.

 

Health Relationship Model

Unsurprisingly the healthy relationship model is very balanced, with equal times spend both together and apart. This works to promote a sense of identity and independence outside of the relationship whilst the shared contact encourages inter-connectedness and provides sufficient emotional and mental support to the other.

 

Healthy relationship behaviors

 

The good news is that there are also many relationship behaviors that we can adopt to foster a more healthy, happy and balanced relationship.

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Romance Questionnaire

One of the easiest ways to do a life audit is to just ask yourself ten questions for each area of your life and then give yourself a score to find out how to rate yourself.

 

Below I’ve outlined ten questions for the romance life area so you can easily assess where you’re currently at – simply give yourself a score out of ten for each question with one being awful and ten being excellent, with no room for improvement. And just in case you were wondering, this is designed for singletons too!

 

  1. Are you happy as an individual, by yourself?
  2. Is your self-esteem tied to the opposite sex? (Scoring: Completely = 1, Not at all = 10)
  3. Are you happy with the amount of romance in your life?
  4. Do you go on dates either if you’re single or within your relationship?
  5. Do you seek out new and exciting things to do in order to meet the opposite sex or to do with your partner?

 

If you are single score yourself between 1 and 20 for each of the first five questions above.  If you are in a relationship answer all ten questions and score yourself between 1 and 10 for each.

 

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