honesty

How to Stop Worrying What People Think And Start Being Authentic in 6 Easy Steps Part Four

Photo courtesy of Shutterstock

Photo courtesy of Shutterstock

 

4)  Be diplomatically honest

 

Become mindful of when you tell white lies and start practising being diplomatically honest. Being totally honest honours our authenticity by showing our genuine nature and consequently allows us to retain a high level of integrity. For guidance on how to be diplomatically honest, see part two of this series under ‘Blocks to Authenticity’ – Kind vs. Honest.

 

This also means not editing or tailoring what you say to suit the type of persona you want to portray to certain groups of friends and choosing to rather be your same self to everyone you know!

 

5)  Express your true thoughts, opinions, beliefs and feelings

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An Authentic Life: Diplomatic Honesty

In this series I often speak of being diplomatically honest. What I mean by this is being honest but remembering to word what I say in such a way that it doesn’t cause anyone to be hurt or offended.

 

Here are some examples of diplomatic honesty in action:

 

Q:           Do I look fat in this?

A:            I think you have outfits that better show off your shape

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An Authentic Life: Integrity

Oxford Dictionary online defines integrity as:

 

“The quality of being honest and having strong moral principals”

 

Part of leading an authentic life is not only being honest and presenting yourself as you truly are no matter who you are with but also having well defined moral principals that you live by. Keeping to your word, for example.

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What is authenticity?

The Cambridge Dictionary Online defines authenticity as the quality of being real or true. Interpersonally, being authentic means being honest, having a high level of integrity (keeping promises for example) and being true to who you are in terms of expressing your beliefs, opinions, feelings and thoughts.

 

In reality being an authentic person is more complex, for example, someone who is authentic presents themselves in the same light to everyone and refrains from modifying their behavior around different social groups. This isn’t to say that when at an opera they wouldn’t be more quiet – in some social environments it is entirely appropriate for us to modify our behavior – however it is to say that the authentic person would not pretend to be a different version of themselves entirely.

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How to Stop Worrying What People Think And Start Being Authentic in 6 Easy Steps Part One

Photo courtesy of Shutterstock

Photo courtesy of Shutterstock

 

I am quite an authentic person; I am open about my faith and I express my opinions in a diplomatic fashion, even when they differ to my friends. I am honest about my feelings.  I am open about my breakdown back in 2009. I am honest about the fact that I see a therapist and am actively working on being my best self.

 

In spite of this, when I sat down to write this article I asked myself some confronting questions. Questions like ‘Do I tell white lies?’ and ‘Do I sometimes keep quiet rather than disagreeing?’ Once I realised that I do sometimes tell white lies, and that occasionally I do keep quiet rather than entering into a debate, I discovered that there was still some work to do when it came to my being completely authentic.

 

But wait, I had skipped the most important question of all! What constitutes an authentic person? The psychologists Brian Goldman and Michael Kernis define authenticity as “the unimpeded operation of one’s true or core self in one’s daily enterprise.” True authenticity involves complete honesty but contrary to popular belief that doesn’t have to mean being hurtful, there is always a way to be diplomatically honest and sensitive to others feelings.

 

Authentic people are also honest with themselves and are very aware of what their strong points and weak spots are.

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