How To Halt Put-Downs The Assertive Way
Once time has passed and your emotions have cooled (at least a little) try to get the person in a neutral environment alone. If the person continues to put you down in front of others, maybe consider continuing to address the situation assertively – regardless of who is listening – as outlined below.
Most of all, remember to remain calm (at least on the outside) with a moderated tone of voice and open body language throughout the duration of the conversation, no matter what is being said. Remember, the moment you lose control and get angry or aggressive you give your power to the perpetrator which is exactly what they want.
Step One – Find Out The Intention Behind The Comment, Explain Your Thoughts And Feelings And Say What You Want
Repeat the put-down and then ask…
‘Can you say more about what you meant by that comment?’
The person may then reply by a further put-down such as ‘nothing, you’re overly sensitive’. Repeat the question and if they do not answer continue by saying…
‘I took the comment to mean (x, y, z). Is that what you meant by the comment?’