How to encourage a narcissist to have empathy

This is a difficult one. The number one rule of getting along with a narcissist is not to question their thinking or rational. However, when they aren’t showing you any empathy and you are having difficulty in your relationship with them a little empathy from them goes a long way in potentially solving the relational issue. The best way to cushion the criticism is therefore to start with a positive and end with how you feel.


For example:


I love how you used to listen to me, it made me feel very understood and special. Recently I have been feeling sad and rejected because I sense a difference in how you listen to me. Please may you try to listen to me the way you did back then now?


How to get along with a narcissist when you have to

If you really have no choice but to try to get along with a narcissist there are things you can do to make the relationship smoother. Here are my top tips for getting along with a narcissist, please do let me know if you have some of your own.


  • Don’t make demands and lower your expectations
  • Listen – A LOT
  • Give affirmations and positive comments to them often


How to recover from a toxic relationship with a narcissist


The devastation a narcissist can leave in their wake can be awful. As someone who has rebuilt their life after a toxic relationship with a narcissist I can say that life can be happy, meaningful and beautiful again, however unlikely that may seem when you first make the split.


Below are my top tips in order of priority for recovering from a toxic relationship with a narcissist, please do let me know if you have any tips of your own to add.


  1. Narcissists can work to isolate you from friends and family to gain more control over you. Take time to nurture relationships with friends and family to strengthen your support network and explain to them why you maybe haven’t seen them much during your last relationship.


  1. Most narcissists lack boundaries and often they may expect to dictate how you spend your free time (which they usually say has to be with them). One of the first steps towards healing should therefore be to learn assertiveness so as to protect you from similar hurt in future. Please read ‘How to free yourself and assert your rights’ which looks at how to protect your own personal rights that you were born with. Please also read ‘Assertiveness: A Journey Worth Taking’ to discover how to create healthy boundaries in your future relationships.


Are bad boys really narcissists?

There are many girls who are drawn to bad boys, the flashy, arrogant and charming types. Interestingly the bad boy stereotype fits in with the average narcissist perfectly, who are often charismatic and self serving with little empathy. What is perhaps more concerning though is that seemingly ‘nice guys’ can also be narcissists – they can be faithful despite their narcissistic persuasion.


In truth narcissism is more closely linked with the typical bad boy but narcissism is indiscriminate and there are as many different types of narcissist as there are people, each with their own varying degree of narcissism.