purpose

How to recover from a toxic relationship with a narcissist

 

The devastation a narcissist can leave in their wake can be awful. As someone who has rebuilt their life after a toxic relationship with a narcissist I can say that life can be happy, meaningful and beautiful again, however unlikely that may seem when you first make the split.

 

Below are my top tips in order of priority for recovering from a toxic relationship with a narcissist, please do let me know if you have any tips of your own to add.

 

  1. Narcissists can work to isolate you from friends and family to gain more control over you. Take time to nurture relationships with friends and family to strengthen your support network and explain to them why you maybe haven’t seen them much during your last relationship.

 

  1. Most narcissists lack boundaries and often they may expect to dictate how you spend your free time (which they usually say has to be with them). One of the first steps towards healing should therefore be to learn assertiveness so as to protect you from similar hurt in future. Please read ‘How to free yourself and assert your rights’ which looks at how to protect your own personal rights that you were born with. Please also read ‘Assertiveness: A Journey Worth Taking’ to discover how to create healthy boundaries in your future relationships.

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How to Stop Living Life as if it Were a Spectator Sport – Mini Series; Part Two

Do you ever feel as though life is passing you by and you are just going through the motions each day, surviving rather than walking into the future with a meaningful purpose?

 

One of the foundation blocks to fostering greater resilience is having clear goals and a purpose to work towards which will give you focus, direction and fulfilment, so that when tough times hit you have created a life of meaning and value – a life you want to fight to get back on track with!

 

In my article titled ‘How to Discover Your Passions and Reveal Your Life Purpose in 4 Easy Steps’ it talks of how discovering our passions ultimately lead to finding our life purpose…

 

Excerpt:

 

“Step One – Passion vs. Purpose

 

Although passion and purpose are often used interchangeably, there are in fact two very different things.

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How to Reveal Your Passions and Discover Your Life Purpose in 4 Easy Steps Part Four

Photo courtesy of Shutterstock

Photo courtesy of Shutterstock

 

Last week we asked ourselves some challenging questions in order to discover what our true life purpose was, this week we learn how to face our fears, one of the biggest obstacles to pursuing our life purpose.

 

Step Four – Face Your Fears

 

I realised early on that by pursuing my passion of writing, I would have to face my fear of failure. As with any creative endeavour, writing is highly competitive. I started to think how hard it was to succeed as a writer and how many other experienced and talented writers there were out there. My fear of failure had made me question my ability. This experience taught me that our fears are directly proportionate to our passions. The more passionate we are, the more fear we will have to face.

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How to Reveal Your Passions and Discover Your Life Purpose in 4 Easy Steps Part Three

Photo courtesy of Shutterstock

Photo courtesy of Shutterstock

 

Last week we discovered the difference between our passions and our purpose and learnt how we can start taking action to discover which passions may reveal our purpose, this week the challenging questions we need to ask ourselves in order to find our purpose are revealed.

 

Step Three – Asking Challenging Questions

 

The quality of our questions determines the quality of our answers. Here are some soul searching questions, designed to help you uncover your calling in life. Don’t forget the last question, which is arguably the most important of all in revealing your purpose.

 

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How to Reveal Your Passions and Discover Your Life Purpose in 4 Easy Steps Part Two

Photo courtesy of Shutterstock

Photo courtesy of Shutterstock

 

Last week we looked at how what we enjoyed as children can lead us to our passions, a critical step in discovering our life purpose. This week we examine the difference between our passions and purpose and how we can start taking action towards discovering our life purpose.

 

Step One – Passion vs. Purpose

 

Although passion and purpose are often used interchangeably, there are in fact two very different things.

 

Passions can be enjoyed for their own sake, and you certainly don’t have to be skilled at them to find them rewarding. My passions were singing, scrapbooking and writing.

 

My purpose, on the other hand, was how I used one of my passions for a cause greater than myself. For example, my passion was writing, but my purpose was to help others through my writing.

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How to Reveal Your Passions and Discover Your Life Purpose in 4 Easy Steps Part One

Photo courtesy of Shutterstock

 

As a little girl I used to fantasize about being a famous actress. I would envisage walking down the red carpet arm in arm with a handsome actor who adored me. I remember how excited I was when I went to my first drama group. This, I thought, was how my rise to fame and fortune would start.

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