reconciliation

How to Forgive Your Friends

If you’ve ever had one of your friends hurt you, you will know it can be heart wrenching. One of the best ways to open the door to forgiveness is to try to understand the person better, taking into account everything your friend was going through at the time and how he or she must have felt. Remember that your friends are only human and they have flaws just like everyone else.

 

The issue of forgiveness is a very complex one but ultimately when we forgive someone release the pain and resentment we are harbouring – this is very liberating and makes what is often a hard process worthwhile.

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Make up, make up, never ever break up? Why we can walk away and still forgive

 

When I decided to forgive my friend I knew that ultimately I wanted to try to reconcile. She was one of my best friends and, although she hurt me very deeply and what I chose to forgive was considerable, our friendship was very important to me.

 

I remember talking about it with her for ages when we met for the first time after I found out. I was assertive and had planned what I was going to say, how I would say it (in a measured, non accusatory tone of voice) and what I wanted from her (not to do it again, obviously). We spoke about what had happened several times before I built up the strength to reconcile with her.

 

There may be someone who is very important in your life who has wronged you and it is understandable that you would want to salvage that relationship. The only thing I would say is that one of the reasons I was able to reconcile with my friend was because we were both willing to have difficult conversations in order to repair the friendship which I think is a prerequisite to repairing any damaged relationship.

 

If however the person doesn’t show remorse or a willingness to engage in talks about what happened, let alone offer reassurance it won’t happen again, you may be in a position whereby reconciliation isn’t possible or even desired on your part. And that’s ok! It is absolutely possible to fully forgive someone without having them in your life. And guess what? You can still achieve the same level of peace and calm should reconciliation not be possible or desired.

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