romantic relationships in action

Romance In Action: Re-read your lists

Take five minutes to re-read your list of the reasons why you want to improve your current or future relationships to motivate and inspire you to continue in this journey. Then put on some relaxing or uplifting music and visualize your dream relationship with your dream man! If you have a dream board consider placing your ‘shopping list and ideal dynamic’ on there (written from the exercises we did earlier this month).

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Romance In Action: List the healthy relationship behaviors covered in Mondays series post that you don’t often do

Today is the exciting bit! Take five minutes to write down the healthy relationship behaviors covered in Mondays series post that you don’t often do and write down an idea for each as to how you can better adopt these behaviors in future. For example, could you show your appreciation by words of affirmation to your partner more?

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Romance In Action: Learn Assertiveness Skills to Improve Your Relationship

Read ‘Assertiveness: A Journey Worth Taking’ to explore how to better assert your rights whilst also protecting your partners rights in future – remember true assertiveness is not about winning, it’s about finding a mutually agreeable compromise and respecting one another.

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Romance In Action: List the unhealthy relationship behaviors you have engaged with in the past

Read through this Monday’s Romance Central Part Three post and write down which of the unhealthy relationship behaviors you have engaged with in the past. List an idea as to how you can change each of these behaviors in future. For example, do you let resentment build by bottling things up? One of the ways you can avoid doing this is by learning assertiveness so that when things crop up that irritate you, you can bring them up in a calm way rather than exploding later on down the line.

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Romance In Action: Make an action plan of the ways you will find a suitable partner

Read over ‘Top Tips for Meeting a Partner’ and make an action plan of how you aim to meet possible partners from the article or from your very own ideas. It may sound calculated to go about meeting someone in this way but if you’re like me you may not go out all the time (and in any case, those you do meet at a bar or a club are usually just looking for one thing). Quantify it in real terms, which clubs do you plan to join? Research those types of clubs local to you. If they meet on a Thursday night for example, do you have the time and money to go? Then all that’s left to do is join up!

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Romance In Action: List Your Ideal Relationship Dynamic

Listing your ideal relationship dynamic is essential, after all if you don’t know what you’re looking for how will you know when you’ve found it? HINT: the best relationships have half of their lives spent together and half of their lives apart. Do you want an equal relationship? What does that look like for you? Does it mean you share financial responsibilities? Does it mean you talk through conflict diplomatically and work towards a compromise? Keep your ideal relationship dynamic with your ideal partners qualities or ‘shopping list’ to strengthen your resolve to not settle for anything less.

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Romance In Action: List Your Unhealthy Relationship Behaviors and If You Have Been in Any of the Unhealthy Relationship Models

It’s very easy to get into any of the unhealthy relationship dynamics shown in the models of Monday’s post. Honestly assess whether you have been in any and how you came to enter into them. How did you experience them as unhealthy? What impact did the dynamic have upon the relationship?

 

Equally it’s important to assess which of the unhealthy relationship behaviors you have exhibited in the past. Do you have a pattern of exhibiting the same unhealthy behaviors? What draws you to exhibit these behaviors? What advantages do you think at the time they will give you? Once you understand the answers to these questions ask yourself, what were the disadvantages and damaging effects upon the relationship as a result of these behaviors? How could you avoid them in future?

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Romance In Action: Write a list of the ideal qualities you would like in a partner

 

This sounds silly I know but when I was single I wrote a ‘shopping list’ of all the qualities I wanted in a partner and I do believe that if you take the time to be intentional in terms of what you are looking for in this way you will naturally attract people who fall in line with what you are seeking. My boyfriend today not only has all of the qualities I was looking for but even has fifteen or so further qualities – bonus hey?!? Keep your list somewhere noticeable like on your phone or on a mirror.

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