How To Avoid The Handgun Of Hatred Backfiring
Holding onto hatred is literally like holding onto a faulty handgun that could backfire at any time. The dangerous thing is that when we hold onto hatred we are so focused on where the handgun is pointing that we forget it is faulty and backfires.
When hatred backfires, as it invariably does, we are hit by a lethal bullet of loathing and contempt and it impacts all of our senses. It impacts how we see the world, what we feel, how we interpret what we hear – everything is affected. Our experience of the world becomes negative and we adopt a cynical view of people and sometimes even on life.
Sounds pretty awful doesn’t it? Well, I’m sorry to say that’s because it is. So why do we hold onto hatred if it causes such pain and anguish? Because all to often it is interlinked with pride and we feel we are justified in hating the person for what they have done. We could also hold onto hatred because it is an internalized (or even expressed) form of revenge whereby we want to get the person back for what they have done.
Whatever the reason we hold onto our hatred one thing is for certain, when we do so we are hurting ourselves and it is only a matter of time before hatred takes its toll. Just as with real bullet wounds, sometimes death is instant and other times it is more drawn out and gradual but trust me when I say that hatred deals a fatal blow.
As we examined last week by seeking to better understand the life conditions and life experiences of those we hate we can place their actions in a more balanced context and begin to release our hatred bit by bit. This understanding is not to be confused for condoning the persons behavior, however by better understanding those that have caused us pain, we are able to release ourselves of our past hurts and stop the ongoing onslaught of pain we are inflicting upon ourselves.
Are you still holding onto hatred or have you released it? If you have let go of your hatred how did you do it? Could you share your very own tips? Please share your wisdom so we can all grow together, I’d love to hear from you.
Following using psychology to transform my life, I founded Accessible Psychology to help empower others to live the life they long for. My journey is living testimony that no matter where you are, absolutely everyone can apply psychology in order to lead more fulfilling lives.
Oh and I love Oprah, Marie Forleo, Tony Robbins and lovely people like you!