What comes to mind when you think of the emotionally strong? Someone with superhuman ability, and no need for help, who excels during difficulty and can achieve almost anything – no matter what is happening around them?
Well, you might be surprised to learn that the most strong amongst us excel, not because they have superhuman strengths and can do it entirely by themselves, but because they recognize when they need help and support and seek it early on before the situation has had the opportunity to get any worse.
So why do so many of us resist seeking help and support when difficulty arises?
In reality there are many reasons why someone might shy away from asking or accepting help. Below are the top reasons and how they are often counter-productive for those going through hardship.
Pride and ego
Pride feeds into the notion that if you are strong you simply don’t need help. Time and time again this has been shown to be wrong but pride tells you otherwise.
When we are too proud to ask or accept help we severe ourselves from the very support network which can comfort, assist and help get us back on track. Remember the very strongest among us do this early on and in so doing, potentially prevent situations escalating and getting more damaging and unhealthy.
Some of us avoid seeking or receiving help because we are embarrassed that we need it in the first place. We think we should be able to manage.
Feeling embarrassed can cause you to feel ashamed that you feel overwhelmed or perceive yourself not to be managing well. Completely incorrectly you might even feel like a failure and avoid asking for help because you don’t want to be ‘found out’.
Not only to the strong know that they need support and help when tough times hit but they actively seek it out.
So next time remind yourself that asking for help is a true sign of strength, not weakness.
Not wanting to be a burden
All too often we think that we would be a burden to others if we asked for help, not realizing that we are robbing those close to us of the opportunity to show their love for us. Not considering that they would be hurt not to be given the opportunity to lessen your pain or help you practically. Please don’t fall into the same trap of underestimating those who love you.
You don’t think the problem is severe enough yet
It is self defeating to ask for help when you are already at breaking point. Strong people know that asking for help early is essential if they are to avoid a worse situation further on down the line. Personally, I think they might onto something!
So the next time you hit a bump in the road (as we all do at some point) ask for help and accept it when it’s given – and avoid that awful collision at the crossroads.
Do you find it difficult to ask for help? Are you worried you may be a burden if you do? Does the idea of admitting you need help embarrass you? Please share your thoughts in the comments below to gain encouragement, insight and support from our community, we’d love to hear from you.
Following using psychology to transform my life, I founded Accessible Psychology to help empower others to live the life they long for. My journey is living testimony that no matter where you are, absolutely everyone can apply psychology in order to lead more fulfilling lives.
Oh and I love Oprah, Marie Forleo, Tony Robbins and lovely people like you!