One of the most useful things eHarmony did for me was get me to think about what my deal breakers in relationships would be in advance. When you start to chat with a match you first ask three fun questions, then you send your makes or breaks and then three open ended ‘dig deeper’ questions before you email. Of course you can skip these steps but I loved them as it really showed me my compatibility with someone before chatting with them. In the makes or breaks section you select ten makes (or must haves) and ten breaks (or can’t stands).
These must haves and can’t stands are important to realize before you get involved with someone and can save much heartache down the line. For example, if you want to have children it’s important to know whether your new date shares that desire. Equally, if you can’t stand someone who never says sorry and has to be right all the time it might be worth asking ‘can you name a time when you were wrong and had to apologize’ to see if they have this quality.
Take the time now to write down five to ten must haves and five to ten can’t stands or deal breakers, it will prepare you well for realizing early on whether your new date is a good match or a heartache waiting to happen.
What are your must haves and can’t stands? Did thinking about them prepare you better for meeting someone and knowing what you are looking for? Please share your thoughts in the comments below to gain encouragement, insight and support from our community, we’d love to hear from you.
Following using psychology to transform my life, I founded Accessible Psychology to help empower others to live the life they long for. My journey is living testimony that no matter where you are, absolutely everyone can apply psychology in order to lead more fulfilling lives.
Oh and I love Oprah, Marie Forleo, Tony Robbins and lovely people like you!