Living Out Loud; How To Develop Lasting Confidence – Part Four
Last week we looked at how when we stop comparing, are more assertive, socialize more, seek to learn and build our experience we foster greater internal confidence. This week we continue to look at ways we can further develop our internal confidence.
Recognize your achievements
Whilst it’s never a good idea to be prideful, learn to recognize your achievements. This needn’t just be academic or tangible achievements but could also include the positive qualities you show to others – achievements which are just as valuable.
Write them down on a piece of paper and type them up to show you how far you’ve come whenever you are feeling run down or despondent. You could even frame your ‘lifetime achievement award’, updating it annually, as a source of encouragement and motivation at times when you may be overwhelmed by how far you still need to go.
Remember confident people take time to recognize their achievements, realizing their contribution is valuable whilst not feeling the need to vocalize them whereas the arrogant use their achievements as a means to brag and tend to become prideful and superior because of them.
Accept your weaknesses and strengths
To be truly confident you need to know yourself on a deep level and be self aware. You need to acknowledge your weaknesses, realizing that they don’t detract from your inherent worth, instead accepting that you are fallible, as is everyone.
Take a few moment to write down your strengths, as you look at each one think of how it has helped you and be grateful, feeling fortunate as opposed to superior.
Take a few moments to write down your weaknesses, not berating yourself for them but rather embracing them as part of who you are, someone with a lot to offer but also someone who is imperfect – someone who is human.
To really avoid becoming prideful, superior or arrogant fostering humbleness is key. Please see below for some handy tips on how develop a humble heart:
- Be ok to make mistakes and admit to them
- Don’t brag – ever
- Give credit to others freely
- Give compliments freely
- Seek out others opinions
- Be open to learning
- Be helpful
- Be quick to apologize and forgive
Positivity and optimism
Maintaining a positive and optimistic outlook is essential to cultivating inner confidence, after all, if you’re always looking at the worst case scenario it doesn’t inspire much confidence does it? There are so many ways to develop a more optimistic and positive outlook, here are just a few.
- Create goals that motivate and inspire you.
- Read positive quotes every chance you get.
- Listen to uplifting music.
- Search the web for inspiring sites on positivity and personal development.
- Practice writing in a gratitude journal or mentally list five things you are grateful for each day.
- Surround yourself with positive people as best you can and let go of toxic relationships that no longer serve you.
- Most importantly be kind to, and look for the best qualities in, yourself and others.
- Give compliments freely and help others whenever you can.
- Brainstorm solutions to problems rather than focusing on the problem itself.
- Search for the lesson in every difficult situation you face – using the experience as an opportunity to develop and grow into your best self.
- Take the time to consciously visualize your future as happy and filled with realized goals and successes.
After having been highly negative for many years I now consider myself to be a positive and optimistic person and I wouldn’t hesitate in saying that the effort involved was completely worthwhile. Remember, developing a negative mindset didn’t happen overnight and likewise it takes time to foster a positive outlook but the rewards are huge and its impact upon your quality of life will be profound.
True internal confidence takes time to develop and it is often a gradual process however if you follow these steps you should be well on your way to growing into the confident person you were born to be. Be patient with yourself and the process and take the time to celebrate the small wins along the way, remembering to add them to your ‘lifetime achievement award’, acknowledging how far you’ve come whilst inspiring you to keep going.
So what are you waiting for? Step into a life where you no longer need to be burdened by presenting yourself as perfect, a life where insecurities don’t plague you, a life where you are comfortable being yourself, knowing your contribution is both worthwhile, a life where you exude genuine inner confidence and your true self can shine through.
Are you happy with your achievements? Would you like to be more positive and optimistic? How do you feel this series on confidence has impacted you? Please share your thoughts in the comments below to gain encouragement, insight and support from our community, we’d love to hear from you.
Following using psychology to transform my life, I founded Accessible Psychology to help empower others to live the life they long for. My journey is living testimony that no matter where you are, absolutely everyone can apply psychology in order to lead more fulfilling lives.
Oh and I love Oprah, Marie Forleo, Tony Robbins and lovely people like you!