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The Dilemma Between Letting Go And Holding On (And When To Let Go)

It is one of the toughest things imaginable to let go and move on when everything within you wants to hold on. When the situation is beyond our control and we have no choice but to accept our loss, it is incredibly painful. We might feel it is unjust and we will likely face despair. We might even get angry. Understanding that this is natural is so important. Still others may suffer from shock and numbness. This too is understandable.


Although this series is ‘letting go and moving on’ I would in no way recommend trying to move on instantly. The mourning process takes time and everyone is different, there is no one size fits all when it comes to how long is healthy to effectively mourn.


The five stages of grief are listed below. Although they do have an order, in reality we flit between one and another and our moving through these stages is not by any means a straightforward process but rather more like a general trend. Indeed, not everyone will go through all five stages or even in the order as set out below.


  1. Denial and isolation
  2. Anger
  3. Bargaining
  4. Depression
  5. Acceptance


For example, I went through these stages several times.


So when do you decide to finally let go? When depression has got its hold on you and you feel you are perpetually stuck, with little confidence in getting out, you need to let go.


Your loss may have had a relatively minor impact upon you, which is simply making you sad and lethargic. If this is the case, try to let go when you feel your life is suffering due to your mood, but be mindful that you are not in denial or that you haven’t fully mourned the loss yet.


Do you believe you have properly mourned your loss? Have you tried to let go prematurely in the past? What impact did that have? Please share your thoughts in the comments below to gain encouragement, insight and support from our community, we’d love to hear from you.

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