Have you ever thought that forgiving someone meant accepting or condoning poor behavior? Well you’re not alone, this is one of the most dangerous misconceptions about forgiveness out there and until five years ago I believed the very same thing. This misconception about the nature of
For many years I struggled to forgive my bullies. One of the things that stopped me was the belief that in order to forgive them I needed to tell them that they were forgiven. Looking back I wish I had come to the realization that
Accessible Psychology has been featured as one of the best psychology blogs on the web in psysci.co recent article titled 'Psychology Blogs: The Ultimate List'. The list features some of the biggest online names in psychology including Mind Hacks, PsychCentral, Psychology Today, Psysci.co (naturally) and Reflectd. If
‘To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you’ Lewis B Smedes There have been many times in my life when my forgiveness was needed. Times when people hurt me to my core – times that caused me to feel
When I was younger I firmly believed that forgiveness meant accepting poor treatment from others – I had no real notion of what forgiveness really was. Forgiveness means releasing yourself from the poisonous emotions of pride (or the ego), humiliation, shame, hatred and resentment. It
As someone who has struggled with forgiveness in the past, one of the main things that held me back and prevented me from finding peace was the misconceptions I had about forgiveness. I truly believed that forgiveness was akin to reconciling and accepting poor behavior. Below
I remember once when I was in my late teens and one of my friends betrayed me. It escalated to the point where she even spread false rumors about me to my other friends. I was so hurt I couldn’t see through the pain, let
Why the work we do on ourselves helps others too
When faced with a threat our reptilian brain kicks in and throws us into flight fight or freeze mode. This is an automatic and instinctive response built into us from millennia ago when we had to scavenge for food and fight off lions to survive. The
Like anyone I’ve felt guilty from time to time. Interestingly I have a long standing history of confusing guilt for shame. When researching for this month’s series article on self-compassion I had an aha moment when I realized guilt was very different to shame. Shame
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